FUNNY SIGNS




 Sign on an electrician's truck:  Let us remove your shorts.

                 

 Maternity Clothes Shop:          We are open on labor day.

                 

 Non-smoking area:  If we see you smoking we will

 assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.

                 

 On a Maternity Room Door:       "Push, Push, Push"

                 

 On a Front Door:  Everyone on the premises is a

 vegetarian except the dog.

                 

 Optometrist's Office:  If you don't see what you're

 looking for, you've come to the right place.

                 

 Scientist's Door:     Gone Fission

                 

 Taxidermist Window:   We really know our stuff.

                 

 Podiatrist's Window:  Time wounds all heels.

                 

 Butcher's window:     Let me meat your needs.

                 

 Used Car Lot:         Second Hand cars in first crash condition



 Sign on Fence:        Salesmen welcome.  Dog food is expensive."

                 

 Car Dealership:       The best way to get back on your

                       feet - miss a car payment.

                  

 Muffler Shop:         No appointment necessary.  We'll hear you coming.

 

 Hotel:  "Help!"       We need inn - experienced people.

                 

 Butcher's Window:     Pleased to meat you.

                 

 Auto Body Shop:       May we have the next dents?

                 

 Sign in an office:    We shoot every 3rd salesman, and

                       the 2nd one just left.

                 

 Veterinarian's Waiting Room:        Be back in 5 minutes.  Sit!  Stay!

 

                 

 The Electric Company:  We would be delighted if you send in your

                        bill. However, if you don't, you will be.

                 

 Beauty Shop:           Dye now!

                 

 Garbage Truck:         We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

                 

 Computer Store:        Out for a quick byte

                 

 Diner Window:          Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get

fed up.

                 

 Bowling Alley:         Please be quiet.  We need to hear a pin drop.

                 

 Cafeteria:             Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria.  

                            Socks can eat any place they want.

                 

 Music Library:         Bach in a minuet.

                 

 Funeral Home:          Drive carefully, we'll wait.