(The following was written by State
Representative Mitchell Kaye from
  Cobb County, GA.)

 
  We, the sensible people of the United States, in
an attempt to help
  everyone get along, restore some semblance of
justice, avoid any more
  riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive
behavior and secure the
  blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and
our great-great-great
  grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain
and establish some
 common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny,
guilt-ridden,
 delusional liberal, commie, pinko bedwetters.
 
 We hold these truths to be self-evident, that a
whole lot of people
  were confused by the Bill of Rights and are so
dim that they require a
 Bill of No Rights.
 
   BILL OF NO RIGHTS
 
  ARTICLE I:

You do not have the right to a new
car, big screen TV or
 any other form of wealth.  More power to you if
you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

  ARTICLE II:

You do not have the right to never
be offended.  This  country is based on freedom,
and that means freedom for everyone - not  just you!
You may leave the room, turn the channel, express
a different  opinion, etc., but the World is full of idiots,
and probably always will  be.
 
 ARTICLE III:

You do not have the right to be
free from harm.  If you  stick a screwdriver in your eye,
learn to be more careful, do not
 expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all
your relatives  independently wealthy.

 ARTICLE IV:

You do not have the right to free
food and housing.  Americans are the most charitable
people to be found, and will gladly
  help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing
weary of subsidizing  generation after generation of
professional couch potatoes who achieve
 nothing more than the creation of another
generation of professional  couch potatoes.
 
 ARTICLE V:

You do not have the right to free
health care.  That would  be nice, but from the looks
of public housing, we're just not interested in health care.
 
  ARTICLE VI:

You do not have the right to
physically harm other people.
 If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or kill
someone, don't be  surprised if the rest of us
want to see you fry in the electric chair.
 
 ARTICLE VII:

You do not have the right to the
possessions of others.  If you rob, cheat or coerce
away the goods or services of other
 citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us
get together and lock you away in a place where
you still won't have the right to a
 big-screen color TV or a life of leisure.
 
  ARTICLE VIII:

You don't have the right to demand
that our children risk their lives in foreign wars to
soothe your aching conscience. We hate
 oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to
stop you from going to fight if you'd like.
However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire
world and do not want to spend a lot of our time
battling each and  every little tyrant with a military
uniform and a funny hat.

ARTICLE IX:

You don't have the right to a job.All of us sure want
 all of you to have one, and will gladly help you
along in hard times;  but we expect you to take
advantage of theopportunities of education  and
vocational training laid before you to make
yourself useful.
 
 ARTICLE X:

  You do not have the right to happiness.  Being an
American means that you have the right to pursue happiness
- which, by the way,  is a lot easier if you are
unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic
 laws created by those of you who were confused by
the Bill of Rights.