Kids Say The Darndest Things



  Some grade school teachers must agree with that, because they 

keep  journals of amusing things their students have written in papers.

  Here are a few examples:



  *The future of "I give" is "I take."

  *The parts of speech are lungs and air.

  *The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes.

  *A census taker is a man who goes from house to house increasing 

the  population.

  *Water is composed of two gins. Oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure

   gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.

  *(Define H2O and CO2.) H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water.

  *A virgin forest is a forest where the hand of man has never set

   foot.

  *The general direction of the Alps is straight up.

  *A city purifies its water supply by filtering the water then

   forcing it through an aviator.

  *Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris.

  *The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 opossums.

  *The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the

   top and you sit on the bottom.

  *We do not raise silk worms in the United States, because we get our

   silk from rayon. He is a larger worm and gives more silk.

  *One of the main causes of dust is janitors.

  *A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects all duly

   constipated authorities.

  *One by-product of raising cattle is calves.

  *To prevent head colds, use an agonizer to spray into the nose until

   it drips into the throat.

  *The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

  *The climate is hottest next to the Creator.

  *Oliver Cromwell had a large red nose, but under it were deeply

   religious feelings.

  *The word trousers is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the

   top and plural at the bottom.

  *Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners.

  *The blood circulates through the body by flowing down one leg and

   up the other.

  *In spring, the salmon swim upstream to spoon.

  *Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.

  *In the middle of the 18th century, all the morons moved to Utah.

  *A person should take a bath once in the summer, not so often in the

   winter.