Husband: Why do you weep and sniffle over a TV program and the imaginary

woes of people you have never met?



Wife: For the same reason you scream and fell when a man you don't know makes a touchdown.



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Another Bumper Sticker



"Don't honk if you're psychic" reminds me of an answering machine message:

"Hello, you've reached the psychic network: don't bother to leave your name

or message - we know who you are and what you want."



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Is it progress if a cannibal learns to eat with a fork?



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Have ex-locomotive engineers been derailed?

Have ex-civil lawyers been distorted?

Have ex-mathematicians become dysfunctional?

Have ex-bankers become disinterested?

Have ex-punsters been expunged?



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