This file was submitted by Lanette Currington.


 Good news .....


 

      The Stress Diet

      (This diet is designed to help you cope with the stress that

 builds   during    the course of the day.)

      

      BREAKFAST

      

      1/2 grapefruit

      

      1 slice of whole wheat toast

      

      8 oz. low fat or skim milk

      

      LUNCH

      

      4 oz lean broiled chicken breast

      

      1 cup steamed spinach

      

      1 cup herbal tea

      

      1 Oreo cookie

      

      MID-AFTERNOON SNACK

      

      Rest of Oreos in pack

      

      2 pints Haagen Daz ice cream

      

      1 jar hot fudge sauce

      

      nuts, cherries, whipped cream

      

      DINNER

      

      2 loaves garlic bread with cheese

      

      large sausage & cheese pizza

      

      4 cans or 1 large pitcher beer (non-alcoholic, I sure hope)

      

      3 Milky Way candy bars

      

      LATE EVENING NEWS

      

      Entire frozen Sara Lee cheesecake eaten directly from the

 freezer.

      

      RULES FOR THIS DIET

      

      1.  If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no 

      calories.

      


      2.  If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in

 the candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda. 

      

      3.  When you eat with someone else, calories don't count as long

 as  you don't eat more than they do.

      

      4.  Food used for medicinal purposes never counts, such as hot 

      chocolate, brandy, toast, and Sara Lee cheese cake.

      

      5.  If you fatten up the people around you, then you look

 thinner.

      

     6.  Movie-related foods do not have additional calories because

 they  are part of the entire entainment package and are not part of

 one's  personal intake. Examples are Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Jr.

 Mints,   Red Hots and Tootsie Rolls.

      

      7.  Cookie pieces contain no calories.  The process of breaking

 causes  caloric leakage.

      

      8.  Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you

 are in the process of preparing something.  Examples are peanut butter

 on a   knife while making a sandwich or ice cream on a spoon while

 making a  sundae.

      

      9.  Foods that have the same color have the same number of

 calories.   Examples include spinach and pistachio ice cream, califlower and

      whipped cream.  

      

      NOTE: Chocolate is a universal substitute and may be used in

 place of any other food.