Twenty More Church Bulletin Bloopers

 
           1.
                The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce
                the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and
                Mrs. Julius Belzer.
           2.
                The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of
                every kind and they  may be seen in the church
                basement Friday.
           3.
                The associate minister unveiled the church's new
                tithing campaign slogan last Sunday:  "I Upped My
                Pledge — Now Up Yours."
           4.
                At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will
                be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir
                practice.
           5.
                Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to
                the addition of several new members and to the
                deterioration of some older ones.
           6.
                Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other
                items to be recycled.  Proceeds will be used to cripple
                children.
           7.
                Irving Beltson and Jessie Carter were married on
                October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that
                began in their school days.
           8.
                During the absence of our Pastor, we enjoyed the
                rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F.
                Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
           9.
                Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and
                heave a healthy lunch.
         10.
                The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday
                morning at 10.  All ladies are invited to lunch in the
                Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
         11.
                The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the
                congregation would lend him their electric girdles for
                the pancake breakfast next Sunday  morning.
         12.
                The pastor will preach his farewell message, after
                which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
         13.
                Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing
                services will be discontinued until further notice.
         14.
                The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung
                without musical accomplishment.
         15.
                The music for today's service was all composed by
                George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th
                anniversary of his birth.
         16.
                A song fest was hell at the Methodist church
                Wednesday.
         17.
                Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN
                DRINK? with hymns from a full choir.
         18.
                Hymn 43: "Great God, what do I see here?"
                Preacher: The Rev. Horace Blodgett
                Hymn 47: "Hark! an awful voice is sounding"
         19.
                On a church bulletin during the minister's illness:  God
                is good .  Dr. Hargreaves is better.
         20.
                Please join us as we show our support for Amy and
                Alan in preparing for the girth of their first child.
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